.. unspoken ..

This image really describes  my current SL situation. This post will be raw and a bit personal.  Take a seat and enjoy the read.

I have been partnered for a year/2 months but not happily especially for the last 6 months. Why? Because I ended up with a person who consistently lied and cheated. The final straw was me catching him myself with my own eyes. Even though, he has cheated 4x ( from Panther, Trinity, Elle, Sophia, and maybe more) that I knew because I was getting messages, notecards, and screenshots of him cheating. I had all the evidence but I stayed because I thought it would change. Guess what , it did not. He continued with the bad behavior and the constant drinking (which was his excuse of his infidelity). The crazy part is when he started blaming me saying, ” I was not around enough.”  I totally had to remind him about my job, traveling, and the my illness. Yet, the blame on me! It is amazing how a person and justify the behavior and try to blame someone else for their poor decision making.

To push my buttons more is when he said it is just avatar.

HOLD UP.. yeah he said it..

Let me explain something..

There is a real person behind an avatar. Beyond this SL, we talked in RL .. So yes, your avatar is a person because you are sitting behind a screen. You are also the person who you portray as an avatar. Your character is who you are. I know some people use SL to portray something are not in RL (that is most). But subconsciously you are that person.  People tend to forget that. Since, I talked to him in RL  there was no separation of the two. His fuck ups changed my view of him in both worlds .

To be honest, I hated to log on because I was afraid to get more evidence against him. I know my family and friends kept telling me to leave, but I again I was naïve and had wishful thinking. Dumb on my part .. At times, it just fucking hurt to hear from people who are close to me about how they felt. I often I didn’t want to talk about it because I felt like I am getting judged.

At the end, I had to decide what was best for me and stop worrying so much. So I spend that 25L and released myself. I had to do what was best for me . I was tired of the embarrassment of the unfaithful mate who referred quantity over quality . The person to preferred sex places instead of exploring the grid. A person who always put himself first over the person he claimed he care about.  My decision was to be happy and to be around the people who cared about me the most . I chose  ME..

Hopefully he will realize that his actions and poor decisions does affect others especially the people he claimed to care about. That his actions does have consequences. Maybe one day he will see the light, but for now.  I have to live for me. What I learned is to be true to yourself and do not accept less what you deserve.

STYLE CARD
jump suit: [LIZIAAH] Pamela 70’s outfit ( @ swank )
hair/mask: .:JUMO:. Sabre Hair ( @ designer showcase )
bracelets : Zaara : Nizam Choodiya (bangles)